If It Makes You Happy

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English: Robert Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions

English: Robert Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Happy is subjective isn’t it?  Two people at the same water park may be having two totally different reactions to the new super-loop water-slide. Or how about news about weather? My sister is happiest at 50 degrees or less, dark clouds and rain. I am happiest when the air outside is in the seventies or eighties, and the sky is blue and the clouds are white and bright. It is all a matter of degrees, too, when it comes to how we feel and how we express our joy. In the make-up of the chemical soup that pulses through our bodies, happiness and joy imprint on the cellular level, right along with sadness and grief. Could it be true we can be addicted to seeking more happiness, more joy so we can keep our spirits riding high or more drama to ensure we stay bitter and cloaked in a depressive state? Even more importantly, do we choose to stay sad because that is what feels right? I choose happy, and it has been a struggle to see life through half-full eyes. Practice makes perfect, and as Malcolm Gladwell pointed out; if we do something about 10,000 times we become masters at that something. With thoughts rolling in every millisecond, could I get to that 10,000 before the day is over?

I see the gravitation toward drama and sadness a lot in my line of work. The same people report the same negative messes on a regular basis. Like a heat seeking missile, these people tend to make relationships with those who will, without a doubt, keep them feeling bad about themselves. Or, if the days are going well, they freak out with the foreign feelings of joy and life being more than shadowy doubt. And, like an addict, will ingest sadness in huge quantities to meet their need to be back in their dungeon where they are safe and know where all the torture equipment is placed.

The good advice I have received most of my life meant nothing. I was told as a teenager by step-mummy, that I wear my feelings on my sleeve and that was not good. What? And…..what? I didn’t understand that other than it was a criticism and I had no idea how to fix it if it needed fixing. Maybe she meant I was sensitive. Sensitivity is okay and a normal human thing like awareness of others’ feelings. What if she had said that to me? I could have put it to better use at a much earlier age! My favorite advice has been “let IT go!” Now, I KNOW it means to stop thinking about the IT, keep away from the IT, stop talking about the IT and pushing the IT completely out of my life. IT usually won because 10,000 thoughts made me master to IT, and unlearning what I mastered just isn’t as easy as “let IT go” sounds.

My happy may not look like any other person’s happy and that is super okay. But, I can honestly report that being happy is my goal, and because that has been my life’s journey, I am becoming.

I can also report, becoming has been awesome.

Seeing the past through ‘becoming’ eyes has taken the negative emotion out of my journey; my life as mapped out by all that was and is. ‘Becoming’ eyes have given me the joy I always sought. ‘Becoming’ eyes have given me sight that has finally allowed me to forgive. Breathing in is much more nourishing than it used to be.

The cards I was dealt early in my life sucked, and that little girl deserves honor and respect with what she did with it! A pat on the back and acknowledgement that those cards were my tools to build me. I am fascinated at what builders use in homes, or those unusual homes made of unusual materials. I am reminded of the man who built a coral home in honor of his true-love, or homes made from tires, or how about those homes reconstructed from missile silos? My material, my tools, made a pretty amazing person.

All of us must use what we are dealt, then life goes on and what we do with our ‘hand’ is totally up to us.

I wish to be a master of joy, gratitude, and of my life in general. It is with joy I write this and gratitude toward those who read it, or those who do not. Master of my own life means joy is settled in and at home in my soul. When sadness and grief do come knocking, and in life it will, they may come to visit, but they may not stay.

This is my house!

Less Judgement, More Joy!

"All You Need is Love" (The Beatles)

“All You Need is Love” (The Beatles) (Photo credit: Akinini.com)

I recently read Dying To Be Me by Anita Moorjani and after I read the book I felt elated and light as though I was walking three feet in the air. Joy is the helium of the soul! This particular joyful feeling came from eliminating what was holding me down: self-judgment. It was an alien feeling to recognize the essence of who I am, and maybe for the first time feel a love for myself. In my Baptist roots, I was told I was unworthy and ‘as a filthy rag’ to God. That was easy to relate with as I indeed felt that was a perfect description of me, myself and I; the unholy trinity. Once I was working with a man who boasted that his daughter came to him one day and said that she realized how unworthy she was. He was so very proud! Sitting there. listening to this, I was sickened in my heart because I knew that feeling and I wanted to run and find her and tell her how worthy she really is to God, and save her the agony of self-loathing. I imagined her dad and Jesus in the same corner of her mind telling her to take her beating in life because she deserved nothing more. I always questioned the logic in being unworthy yet worthy of a death on the cross, or of our Maker numbering the hairs on my head. My filthy rags end up in the trash. Sigh.

One of the lines I used to lighten my load was to tell people that I prayed to Jesus to stop all the persecutions in my life because I had enough character! If trials build character, I was bigger than life! Alright already!

Moorjani’s words were read at the right time. Nothing in my life has ever been revealed without some kind of preparatory excavation. True, sometimes revelations have come to me with little digging, but I have learned the heart and soul have to be ready for divine planting. Yes, hard hearts are cold and dry and truth ricochets off it like a be-bee on a wall. Thus, character is born, pocked with myriad be-bee marks! I got her message. I really understood the energy and beauty behind her book! Could I have had a breakthrough in my quest to love myself? And, was it okay to love myself? Paying attention to all that I said to myself and the thoughts that ran amuck in my mind, I realized I was my own enemy number one.

How could I expect others to recognize I was a good person if I didn’t recognize it? I felt I was introduced to this wonderful woman who has a great heart, a desire to help others and a fun spirit. Finally, I met my best friend! She was with me all this time! She was me!

For the next few days after my satori I smiled a lot. I mean, a lot! I noticed when I spoke to people they responded to me I imagine in the way I was interacting with them…with love. It was awesome during this honeymoon stage of loving myself. I just KNEW I was full of all of this love and I just wanted to share moments with others, intermingle with other souls. Spiritually hug everyone I came into contact with because actually hugging everyone may not have worked as well! “Hello, state hospital, we have someone here who needs a straight-jacket.” When I was at my highest, I truly had pulsing joy. It felt clean, healing, pure. In this state I was able to love others with no roadblocks. My heart was opened and unlike a hardened heart, absorbed the nutritious smiles and love of others in a way I had not experienced before.

The book did not do this TO me, I was ready. I had set my body and mind in motion for years to understand what it meant to really love myself, being it seemed the answer to so many of my dilemmas. I was ready to hear it and be it. Like road construction, I had worked to pave my way starting from a place where there was once no trail, onto the highway of understanding. I could now proceed with my life at higher speeds! Love myself? Check. Love others? Check. Where did this love come from? God? Check!

Why the past tense? I WAS in such a joyous state and it did last for days. I have not fallen backward but life is life and when I am at work or making dinner ,joy maintenance is on hold. I am still learning, still growing, still traveling forward. I have to consciously put my judgmental thoughts away. I am much more aware of them now, and they are really ugly and hurtful and mean. I was the ultimate mean-girl to myself! It is a really hard task to pay attention to all the dark things we say to ourselves, but this task is necessary. I wonder, if while reading this you said a few choice things about me or you that surprised yourself? Recognition is an ingredient in the recipe for self-love. Once you have it, judgement and vicious attacks on yourself and others subside. It is a much easier way to live.

Recently, in an attempt to hurt me, a person said, “No one here likes you,”  Well, I knew they were lieing. It was astonishing to me that they felt that spewing out this hatred would effect me. As I looked into their eyes, I noticed how blank they were. Steely. Black. Sick. I remember taking in a breath and releasing my tension. This is where sickness is born. These vile words lived in their owner and I am sure they are brewing up nothing good. The words had no power over me. Man, I wished I could have helped them see how what they were doing was not hurting me at all, but hurting them! Remember the hard heart with be-bee marks?

If your challenge is loving yourself, keep excavating. I wish it was as easy as waking up one day and making that choice to love.  Maybe that is our biggest job as parents, to teach our children this trick and you know you have taught them right when they easily love and respect others.

Is 52 a bit old to finally get the message? Am I a late bloomer? Maybe, but at least I bloomed! And I am a perennial!

 

Hypocrisy for Dummies

When I was 21, I visited a Baptist church on a Wednesday night which happened to be their annual budget meeting. Luck of the draw. My main reason for not attending church was I had been scared away at the age of fifteen after being locked in a room with five people insisting I pray in tongues and when I left the room that day I was gifted with a book of tithing envelopes. So much wrong with that picture.

When I finally sat my behind in a pew, it was the perfect night. I learned why the tithe was important and I didn’t feel so threatened with the message after the budget meeting.

I attended that church for a while, found my husband, had a baby and became a member of the choir. I tithed. I prayed, I learned as a much as I could, as often as I could. I proudly defended my place on the front-lines of the pew sitters! As a new believer I really did see the world in right/wrong with no in-betweens! No grays! No wavering!

And not much love. Not for me, nor for most.

But, the greatest of these is love! If we have not love, we have nothing.

So many in the church have been targeted as hypocrites. The saying is, “Church is where they should be then!” Hypocrisy is, and this is direct from the dictionary: the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one’s own behavior does not conform; pretense. As the finger points and proclaims “HYPOCRITE” the emotion behind it  is usually one of hurt or anger. Much is expected of the Sunday crowd. Sure, we expect the offer of a ride to church, supper after sometimes, a gift of the Holy Word itself, but I propose the main expectation of that finger: they are outing the believer for being without love.

God’s Love.

We all fall short! Sure we do! But I now believe after a pretty long and interesting stroll with my Savior that if we focus on that Love issue and begin to really get that right, so much falls into place. God wants us to love ourselves because well, He does, and the whole unworthy crap we hear from the angry pulpit spitters is a horrible control tool used to enhance coffers, not hearts. If we were really that unworthy, the cross thing never would have gone down the way it did! Back to Love. God is Love. Tap into that source and it is a life changer.

Our thoughts, our connection to Spirit, is muddled with so much muck and disgusting self-loathing, how can we expect to view our fellow fellows in any way other than with the eyes of someone unable to see. Hence the song lyric, “was blind but now I see.” Diving deeper, blind means the focus is all wrong, the direction of the gaze is all wrong and the reason for looking all wrong. It is like running a race and crossing a finish line that wasn’t even your race!

“You hypocrite! You have it all wrong!” The finger pointer is saying. “You don’t love me! I don’t see it in your eyes! I don’t feel it in my heart! You are cold, judgmental and elevated and it makes me so damn mad at you!”

We all fall short, but are we suppose to fall flat ALL the time?

Loving isn’t easy is it? Just read any political Facebook thread and we find the ugly real quick. Tapping into God can free anyone from self-hatred which then projects toward others as this flow of amazing love energy. Most of us who have occupied a pew have come across this love in a parishioner or two. Noted in their eyes, their warm demeanor, their acceptance of others with a smile and graciousness. Yeah they exist and yeah, you can sometimes find them in church!

Not too long ago I was treated, in my opinion, as if I was a “less-than creature” not worthy of this person’s time, smile, or a drop of warmth. Then I found out this person is a preacher. And preaches. Every Sunday.

Ah, the Hypocrite lives and yet, so does Love. I chose Love. May I have His eyes, heart and soul energy no matter the matter. I will fall short, but I have been blessed to have been enveloped in His love….

Every time I let Him in!

The Drama Pool

Every young girl has taken more than a few dips in the drama pool. Compared yet opposite to the spiritual awakening of the Ganges River, it is a ritual for our teen girls to go in and dip themselves like sacrifices to untruth; bathing in the pond of gossipy proliferation. Our male youth is not immune to the drama pool,however, their swims are less lengthy yet the gossip clings to them as heavily.

Fast forward to adulthood and there are those who truly understand the damage the spoken word can cause, be it true or not. God lets us know that the tongue is like a two-edged sword, and His people often use the edge most damaging in His name. There are many who never get out.

Gossip is the storm which causes so many to be swept up by the enticement of knowing something “juicy.” Gossip takes on a life of its own, and if some of the pieces are missing, they are then created to fit the picture perfectly, showing no doubt the story is true. I have experienced a whole town, small yet powerful, take a few items of information and turn on an individual like the town that came after Frankenstein: holding their torches high and chanting for his death. Or, like Little House on the Prairie, but with no denouement of Michael Landon’s character chastising the community from the church pulpit or school board meeting for their behaviors, resulting in hung heads and softened hearts. What I have witnessed is the opposite. The town wins and judgment and hatred rule the land which retreats after a victory then lies in waiting for the next attack.

I have been attacked recently, my character judged by a round table of those who have never once had a conversation with me, yet deemed me prejudiced and of unworthy character. I was mortified. How could ANYONE judge me and stamp me with a ruling which makes no sense? I was given the recommendation to introduce one of my accusers to my fiance which would really deflect, in his opinion, the unjust prejudice label, but stupid cannot be reasoned with, even with illustrated examples. Judging someone as prejudice is saying that person is full of hate and that hate is compartmentalized toward a race due to whatever reason. I may be a work in progress, but my progress in race relations is better than my accusers, and that is a fact. Do people not see that when they yell prejudice, they may just be blurting out their own shadowy belief system?

Lucky me to have been a part of a town whose residents (not all but a very vocal aspect) will think the worst of others due to what they hear from others. Am I naive? Maybe, but I honestly cannot come up with conclusions about people that are negative. Once I had a student in my class who was arrested for drug use and sent to re-habilitation. She came back and was a bright-eyed teenager who had life and seemed so happy. She told me she had been stoned every day in my class. “Couldn’t you tell” she asked? I replied honestly, “No, I thought you were not getting enough sleep, and possibly you were a bit depressed; not uncommon in teen girls.” I never go to the labels: drug abuser, liar, thief, philanderer, prejudice, first. I believe it is because I do not have these applications downloaded in my system and they are not there to access for blame.

I am learning to take the news that someone is lying, cheating, stealing with less of an affront on my psyche. I really want to live in peace, love and light. Because of that, I refuse to jade my belief system about others and use a negative source for how I perceive them. I am no saint in my perceptions. I do still stereotype, and I work on that. The difference I believe, is I am open to truth, and realize my eyes may deceive me. Close-minded, judgmental behavior is the epitome of stupid and also a state of complete self-UNAWARENESS. I am given a full body check when I step out of line with my behavior, with what I say and when messages I am transmitting to others is not healthy. I do sometimes fall in the drama-pool, and when I do, I am sickened. Healing waters of tears are sometimes needed to begin rebuilding my integrity.

Take the pledge to stay out the the drama-pool. Keep your tongue in check and if you are bothered by another’s actions which do not have anything to do with you, check yourself. Look around. Are you swimming in the truth or in the drama-pond? Look around, are you surrounded by those who make it easy to fall into the deep-end in denial of the truth and play with other’s lives as if it is a beach ball to be whacked from one person to the next: everyone getting their hands on the destruction of another’s life and name?

Get out, wipe your eyes and dull your tongue. Edification comes to those who edify. Getting life right means you are not in the drama-pool.

 

Death, Life and the Stuff In-between

Betty And Charlie

Last week we laid a wonderful man to rest: my long-time partner’s father. What a man! He lived a great life which was reflected through all who came to report they loved him and will miss him. He was a tough father to a brood of six children, known for free use of a rope and belt. None of his kids are worse for the wear due to their worn behinds as children. They are wonderful people, who really loved their dad. The week-long goodbye was hard, but after a long illness, this husband, father, brother and friend had had enough. He died in his sleep, next to his wife of 60 years. A finality most the family never experienced on such an intimate level. The sadness of his passing turned to laughter as the day went on, and true love of another human being gone permeated where they gathered.

Only in his last years did he complain, and five years ago he told me at the dinner table that he had five years left. I noted what he said as I am a true believer that we manifest and bring into our lives that which we believe. He was once a very strong man both physically and mentally. He built his homes with his own hands and with the help of his wife and later his boys. I wondered and often discussed with him how it felt to live in a home where he knew it from the foundation to each tile we stepped on. He was proud of his home, sure, but his home was an essence of him; of what he did in this life, which was build, creating space for his familys’ energy. A master of his domain!

Noted were his traits during this week of goodbyes. He loved his family and controlled as best he could, their upbringing. A plethora of stories exist about this father, not one beginning or ending with “he wasn’t there” or “didn’t care.” He was in the game. He loved to laugh and was a jokester. His passing elicited a desire to celebrate him and laugh for his life. What joy there was in this week to listen to stories and hear the loud and almost constant laughter when discussing his life. He was proud and his pride was his home, family, service and friends. The stuff that gives life its blood, its flow.  I do not think he read one self-help book that told him how to love his family or create joy in his life. He did it as choice every day his health was on his side. He knew what he had done here in this life. He knew  it solemnly and with joy. The last chapter of any book I have ever read on how to get life right. He was a friend and great listener, present in every conversation he had with someone. I can attest he knew so much about people it blew my mind. He remembered names, schools, jobs, where they lived, who they married, names of their kids…the list goes on. I wonder now if he was gifted with the mind that didn’t forget, or he learned the trick of being present when speaking with someone to the point that the connection was complete. A true transference of information! Evident in those whose lives he touched just by speaking with them, sharing a moment and maybe a beer.

He once asked me if I had read all of the books on my shelves. I proudly replied that I had, and he seemed impressed which made me happy. Now I think he was the example in so many of those books about life. He was not drawn to the study of happiness like I am, he had it. I am thankful for knowing Carlos “Charlie” Guzman. We all need examples to emulate while here on earth. Maybe in the future I will let my enough be enough, laugh out-loud without questioning if my joy is bothering another, truly embrace each moment with my friends and family, and never apologize for my life to anyone.

By the end of the week we were all very tired, and as goodbyes to our loved ones end, the sadness creeps in. The reality of never being able to see, call or hug them sets in, hard. But this week had a surprise and happy ending. A baby is going to be born, due in about 8 months around Charlie’s birthday. A new soul is coming. A new beautiful addition to the family. We cried again. We laughed again. We shared joy again.

Life is made of this stuff. The comings and goings. And all we create in-beween.

 

The Apology

Forgiveness is a form of gratitude. When we fo...

Apologies. I am pretty good at knowing when to give one. In my life, I have apologized… a lot. I am not proud of this. Every apology came from my heart which was laden with grief. I know when I hurt someone. It is almost like I can feel their pain, annoyance or anger. With each apology I truly wish to salve the emotional wound for them and me. With each apology, I hope for forgiveness. This whole self-awareness thing is hard, but rewarding.

Apologies are an important ingredient within the social structure. We are appalled when one is lacking, or if when one is made, it is not quite what we needed. I have made many, but received few. So, with this ability to apologize I have also been sharpening this thing called forgiveness. Apologies and forgiveness goes together like peas and carrots, or Forrest and Jenny. I find my anxiety can be squashed by this comforting duo. Lately I have learned to allow them into my past life to help heal some old stuff, circa late 60’s and all through the 70’s. The growing up years.

Facebook has been a great way to reach out to some of the people I treated poorly in those early years and so far, no one has told me to go to hell. I think it helped me to say to them how this teenager, who was so angry lashed out in hurtful ways, and now like a loving adult, I sort of present this troubled kid and say, “She is really sorry for the pain she may have caused, but she gets it now and wants you to please forgive her.”

I have written letters in the same manner and asked for forgiveness. But those are the ones from the past. These days I apologize in real time! I cannot imagine going a full day knowing I have made a mistake without trying to rectify it. So, my question is, when someone hurts me in some way (and I could name about two dozen right here but I won’t) why is there no apology or recognition of my feelings? It is so very rare. In the last two years, the people who have been so quick to apologize, really didn’t harm me in any way. One of my co-workers came to me and said they owed me an apology and was feeling worried they had crossed some kind of line in our conversation from the previous day. I couldn’t remember what it was we had even talked about and they were so relieved. I felt  happy to be able to ease their mind and heart and at the same time I felt cared for and honored.

I had a crazy situation happen not too long ago where I was threatened, ridiculed and judged so completely wrong that I am still perplexed at this person’s ability to love another human being. If they brought this type of hatred to a small table, dealing with me, a person in service to them, I cannot imagine how cruel and dark they are to those closest to them. I remember thinking, right after the attack, if this person will somehow come to the realization that they were wrong about me, and that telling me I was worthless hurt deeply and maybe they would apologize for their words.

Hasn’t happened yet. Funny thing is that a phone call is what it took to cause a load of pain, a phone call would ease it.

But, apologies are more for the trespasser than the trespassed. I have written that incident off as, that person is mean and hateful, and I need to FORGIVE them!

Forgiving is harder for me than asking for forgiveness. Which is probably why God, Life, the Universe, sends me so much to forgive. It is my weakness. Once crossed, I find it hard to forgive, not impossible as I do have many forgiving victories, but it is never easy. Disliking someone is VERY easy. What is wrong with that picture?

When I applied for my job as district counselor, I was asked this question: “what is the one thing you can say about yourself that would give you success in this job?” I said, “I am very self-aware: I know how to interact, I can read a situation, I learn from my mistakes, I can admit when I am wrong and I am not afraid to apologize.” The second question was, “What could keep you from doing a good job here?” I said, “I have never held a counseling position, I need to learn everything….but I am aware of that!”

I got the job.

I think that is true in life. We learn from our mistakes, we grow, we change, and the cycle continues. I think the person who was super-mean to me is missing the blessing of a soft heart. As I continue to completely forgive  them, I am blessed with the struggle that comes with personal growth. Maybe when I reach level five, self-actualiztion, upon hearing a judgement I will immediately forgive their hardened heart, and stunted nature, because the truth is hatred like that does not live in the light of love.

As I write this I offer my open heart to anyone who holds me in a moment of social contempt. Forgive me, I really am trying to get life right.

Fun in the Family

IMG_5939e

IMG_5939e (Photo credit: dangerismycat)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I read once that God gives us friends in apology for our family. It is meant to be funny, and it is funny because it is true! There are those families that move in life as insync as that boy band; it is cool to watch. They gather regularly, share life with all the highs and lows, momentous peaks and sorrow-filled valleys. Some families really like each other and encourage each other and don’t feel embarrassed of each other. Remember Billy Beer? I wished I could have heard what Jimmy Carter REALLY thought of that. One brother became the President of the United States while one became president of his own beer company. Jimmy is cool and I thought he handled the family stuff pretty well. I hear he has a great sense of humor.

 

 

I propose that strong, healthy families have healthy senses of humor. Laughter is found not only within the outer limits of safety, but in the compound of the family fortress as well. I loved Tina Fey‘s book, Bossy Pants. She tells the reader that they won’t find negative stories about why she is funny. I read the book and laughed my way though the pages. Funny can be born in a nice home where life is lived within positive norms and without crazy crap.

 

 

Parents are comedic anchors aren’t they? Did Jimmy Carter’s mother, Miss Lillian, drink Billy Beer and belch the ABC’s? Hilarious! One of my childhood and now adulthood friends had really funny parents. One time they both came out of the back room dressed as hard-rockers; playing guitar and wearing wigs. I sat there believing that my friend had the best parents in the world. Ones that weren’t afraid to have some crazy fun in front of a house full of tweens and teens!  In a time before Saturday Night Live, I was being entertained by a skit with live performers who were not only my hosts but also the musical act! I went home and looked long and hard at my family. My consensus was that only one of us was funny and that was my oldest brother, but in retrospect, my brother closest in age to me was the funniest. He was the class/family clown. If either of these two were in a good mood, the family had a good night. Mom and dad were never funny. I think that valium and absence was the reason there.

 

 

If you know your family isn’t funny at all, how does one go about staging some comedic relief? Maybe there should be a comedy service that comes in and teaches mom and dad how to use everyday items for some impromptu prop comedy, or teach the basics of improvisational comedy. Funny is a muscle that has to be exercised to grow. I met an extremely funny lady in Utah my first  hike at Fitness Ridge. She is an improv-comic and puppeteer. I am amazed at her ability to turn any situation into a punchline. I roomed with her the next year; that is the friends make up for our families promise. I met her and thought…hum, can I keep her?! I can imagine how helpful her talents could be to the boring and mundane family units. Teaching comedy could look like teaching a fat kid how to perform a good plank position; it is difficult and foreign and hard to imagine how doing it can be a good thing.

 

 

 

 

My girls and their families are funny. I love being with them because we spend our time laughing, sharing, laughing some more, singing and laughing even more. One time, when my niece graduated from high school, we met at a restaurant. My sister, nephew and  my side of the family showed up ready to do what we do. I was stuck at the end of the table with niece’s then boyfriend’s family. At one end of the table was laughter, food sharing and fun. At the other end sat a teenager who only drank water (eating disorder in all it’s glory) parents who hated each other and his parents who looked miserable. I tried to move down and get in on the fun, but seating wouldn’t allow it. I ended up sulking with my own H2O. I looked at this girl and asked who she hung out with. “Nobody,” she replied. I told her she should get some friends who like to laugh…STAT. I pointed to the loud end of the table and said, “FUN”  like it was a word she needed to learn.

 

fun

fun (Photo credit: hodgers)

I have been looking for a good business idea. One I could sell to the Sharks. In-home comedy training. Life-coaching with a punchline to it.

 

 

Mom and dad, go buy a wig and play some air guitar for your kids. They will love it, I promise.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To Resolve or Not to Resolve, That is the Question

Have you noticed? People are resolving not to resolve! In developing New Year’s Resolutions, one decides to change something, firmly choosing a new direction. At least for a few weeks! The in thing, I am noticing, is to NOT make any resolutions. Why do it, some are writing: just live and let live. Making a decision to change something at New Years is a farce, leading us toward disappointing ourselves yet again. How many of us made a resolution last year to lose weight and, well, didn’t? Or, to make major changes in other areas of life like in love, work and spiritual commitment, and didn’t? Is the answer to can the resolution and just start the year off with nothing ahead but what fate allows?

I am understating a lot of things, but my point is, I like the New Year’s Resolution thing. Some years I did fail, and yes, after a few weeks. Some years I succeeded. The point of the resolution is that when I make them, I have such hope and energy. I see that what I desire in my life for the new year gives me a blast of positive energy. How can that be a bad thing? So, I resolve to resolve a few things this year. Go ahead and judge; it won’t bother me at all. I often tell clients that the difference in life is started by a thought: A spark in one’s mind that makes sense. If that thought makes your adrenaline flow, go for it. That adrenaline is the stuff from which paths are forged.

My life has had many paths. I certainly followed a few dreams. Doing that gave me reasons to do and be, and conquer a fear or two. To quote some one who surely understood extreme redundancy, “I ain’t dead yet.”

juicer I sit here writing with my first juiced drink from my new juicer. I resolve to use it at least 5 times a week. Up until today I let my eating habits slip, with no momentum after Thanksgiving to watch my weight, I got an I just don’t want to care right now about what I eat attitude. The end result? I am emotionally slumped and fatter. The Sugar Rewards. There are none! I have resolved to go back to my vegan ways. My inner organs have been begging me to do so!

A couple of years ago I set a goal to write this blog and I had quite a few ideas of what to do to make this site succeed. I resolve to continue to do just that. I have no big ideas, but I do have a few that may result in getting that book together.

I could have sworn that God sent me messages to stop my comedy career after the Eva Longoria fiasco, but I still love the stage and am starting this year booked at a few amazing places. I resolve to continue to be open to comedy as it was my catalyst for life for so many years.

I love music, and we bought a BOSE for the house. I resolve to dance more in my kitchen…it has the biggest “floor.”

For years I worked to mend relationships, apologize to those I hurt and just learn to love better. I am keeping the last part of this, I am open to loving. I am not too turned on by mending, at least not being the one to seek the salves. I realized recently that I am a pretty good person, and I like me. Getting here was my life’s journey. I resolve to love more, and more freely.

The juicer is set up and broken in, I am writing today, I have a few jokes to put in my next set , my i-pod is playing my favorite tunes and, I love more today than yesterday.

I resolutely resolve to my New Year’s Resolutions! It just makes me so darned happy!