There are 20 days until Christmas: I can feel it in my bank account! Tis the season to go shopping, fa la la la la la la la la! And it is also the season to drink an eggnog latte, have that yearly piece of fudge and partake of anything wrapped in festive cellophane! Who can pass up banana bread in a mason jar, or pretzels dipped in white or brown or dark chocolate? Free food is everywhere, even the samples at the grocery store are bigger and sweeter. Who starts a diet plan in December? (Other than movie stars and Real Housewives?)
I have in the past, so I guess I am more real housewife than movie star. But this year, even though I am weighed down with some extra poundage, I just don’t have it in me to even attempt another weight loss journey. For the first time in my life I am thinking that I don’t have it in me to try again…unless….
Here is the big idea: what if I paid someone to help me lose weight? Get a trainer you say? Did that. Go to Biggest Loser Resort and work out for eight hours a day for a month? Did that. Hire a nutritionist? Hum..I could but it doesn’t fit my big idea. I have watched every episode of Biggest Loser (and I must say last season SUCKED! Thanks to the quitter contestants for that season!) I have also watched every episode of Extreme Weight Loss with that nice man who helps really obese people get thin. I watched The Swan, too. Creepy in a Honey Boo Boo kind of way. I knew it wasn’t right to enjoy the show because it exploited so many things, but I was trapped in front of that TV until the reveal every time.
I tried out for Extreme Makeover. I didn’t make the first cut. My dreams of lipo, and breast augmentation along with amazing training and diet was not to be within my reach. No hair stylist, no fashion makeover. Sigh.
I am not fat enough or ugly enough to get the help I want. I am not TV worthy. There are millions like me…we just need some one on one help. Someone dedicated to us for a moment in time to help us get to where we need to be. Sure, twenty pounds isn’t as drastic as 120, but it means just as much health-wise and ego wise. Where is our show? Imagine how many contestants we could help in a month!
So I was thinking, personal trainers get paid a lot of money per session (no comments from POOR personal trainers please, I have your number per hour….hush!) After my sessions which were twice a week, I went home and ate badly. I had little self-motivation (see above to what I have done to lose weight in the past) to stay in the game. I have not reached my goal weight in almost 20 years. Really? Yep, really. Remember I am not a movie star. Back to the idea…what if trainers or motivators only got paid per the pound lost? How would it work if I had a person in my life for the sole reason of helping me lose 20 pounds and they received payment only when I reached that goal?
Say the payment was about the same as two months of Jenny Craig cuisine? Would that be a job? I mean, there are millions of us buying tons of items that we hope will help….how about buying someone who really cares because if I eat that donut they won’t see a payday? Someone who I will be accountable to until the scale says the right number? Someone who wants to prove they can change a person’s life like the cool trainers on TV do every season? Someone who likes to blog and take pictures and sell ads and a possible future article here and there?
Before a painter can charge a ton of money for a picture they have to paint it first.
Get the picture?