Friends


Research delved into the friendships of women. Brave researchers. The big news was that women live longer if they have friends and meet with them on a regular basis…

if they survived junior high… and moved beyond bitch boot camp and learned a thing or two about loving their fellow sisters. I have noted all of the unwritten rules women grew up with which socializes us and guides us to behave in the manner the other girls insist upon. Men joke about carrying a Man Card, and how they have to keep the MAN rules to keep the Man Card valid. Women emerge from their teenage years carrying something of their own…

A past they cannot ever forget.

We learn early on that there is never ONE best friend because when we tell our best friend a secret and they promise not to tell, that excludes their OTHER best friend. They tell their best friend and so on, and so on, like the hair shampoo commercial. The next thing that happens is everyone at school knows the secret. It is no secret that it is rare a secret is ever kept in junior high. Funny thing about this lesson is that most of us continue to seek out or keep a friend that we tell everything. We share it all about our family, our relationships, our children, sex lives and anything that may cross our minds. I figure that need to share and the ability to find a sister sounding board keeps us from imploding. Women friends not only help each other keep our blood pressure down we keep each other sane, sometimes a glass of wine at a time.

I know that when I freaked out over something I called a friend, and every time I hung up the phone, or drove away from my sister, I felt better.

I am always bothered when I hear a woman proclaim that she gets along with men better, and that she does not really like her own gender. To me, that screams: “I am an insecure woman who needs male attention and I see other women as a threat.” Adding to that, “I do not know who I am.”

Focusing on the good, I think we women need to belong to the “Red Hat Club” way before our hair turns gray. I wish our young girls would see that the girls that they have in the outs may be the same person they may need to call at midnight when they need a shoulder to lean on. I am amazed at the level of punishment we put each other through during those first hormonal years. I guess some of us keep this behavior as part of our social repertoire, or else there would never be any Housewives shows on Bravo. I admit I am abig fan of the Real Housewives. It evokes in me the memory of the time when I had nothing but time on my hands to live from dramatic moment to dramatic moment. If we girls did not emerge from our teenage cocoon as women with a world to conquer, we would all die by 25, all from stress related relational illnesses.

I love having lunch, dinner or to just hang out with my friends. I have a few, and my friends are as diverse as the styles in my closet. I have this amazing menagerie of women who decorate my life. Some of my friends have died, and the funny thing is that I do carry them, their laughter and advice with me always. The ones still here I have learned to hold a bit more dear. Over the years I have learned to cherish these women more, and to be open to new friends, new ideas and new snorts of laughter.

The research does not lie. We need each other ladies. We are better for each other than any drug a doctor can prescribe.

No keeping that a secret…. call your best friend tonight, and then she can call her best friend, and so on,and so on!

Friends (John, Taupin)

I hope the day will be a lighter highway
For friends are found on every
road
Can you ever think of any better way
For the lost and weary
travellers to go

Making friends for the world to see
Let the people
know you got what you need
With a friend at hand you will see the light
If your friends are there then everything’s all right

It seems to me a crime
that we should age
These fragile times should never slip us by
A time you
never can or shall erase
As friends together watch their childhood fly

 

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