I got a phone call early Tuesday morning. I had missed two calls…I sleep with earplugs and I just did not hear my phone. I have this cool Indian Flute ringer and it is soothing to the ear. Too soothing as it did not wake me up when I was needed. I would like to preface this story with something I was thinking just the day before. I was running (without my iPod) so I was thinking about a lot of things. One was friends. I want a friend in my life that just gets me and wants to share fun times and shopping and stories. Someone to get a manicure with, to talk about kids with, to talk about crows feet and Botox.
I thought of MeLee; my buddy from Kyle First Baptist Awana Days. From summers at the Aquarina Springs pool, too many laughs about all kinds of stuff. I have ALWAYS been comfortable with her. I miss her…I made note to self to contact her.
I returned her two missed calls at about 6 am on Tuesday morning. Her husband died. I could not understand her…her grief was too great, but I knew that I was honored to be a friend at this time. What do you say when someone loses their love? Their life, both present and future? What do you say?
I told her I loved her and I do. I told her to not think about tomorrow. Jesus is awesome- great advice JC. I told her to feel…to cry and just mourn. Before we hung up, I said remember, don’t worry about the future… just feel.
I live too far away and have a brand new job, but I will see her tomorrow. I need to see her. Now I am being a bit selfish. I want to see her smile. See. Selfish!
I have some friends I met while living in Germany. Matt and Annette. They had children about he same age as mine and when we met our babies were babies. Annette and I would open our windows and yell across the street to each other in our small village. We would watch our kids walk to the others apartment. I learned more from Annette about being a mom than from any other person or source. I read some books…lots of books…but watching Annette cut toast and make pancakes in heart shapes; well, it spoke more to me than Dr. Dobson. I watched her and learned from her. I had my kids on a schedule similar to Annette. We talked and shared. I soaked it in and I am grateful for her…to this day she is one of my most favorite people. She, too lives far away.
Annette just had a hip replaced last week. She actually went for a ‘last’ run. So Annette. This is the same lady who moved to Mississippi with her family to build houses for those who lost their homes from Katrina’s winds. Her daughter (the future president of the US, I swear she is super smart) is an architect. Her husband is a builder, as is their son. I guess Annette is a also a builder. This family has given.
Matt learned he has cancer. He will be coming to Houston to get treatment at MD Anderson. I want them to stay in my home in Katy. I am being selfish again! “Pick my house! Let me help so I can feel less helpless!”
Is that normal?
Then there is my buddy with cancer who informed me she had 4 to 6 months to live. This lady is amazing. When she told me her prognosis, I asked questions. I asked how she was dealing with this news; that her end is near. What does one do with their last months? She is going to spend it with her daughters and grandchildren. “The most important people in my life live in my home. They are what matters.” Her youngest daughter is in college. I told her she should go to class with her. I thought, if it was me, I would be with my family, my girls, my grandson, my Charlie every minute I could.
I want to film her. She would like to leave messages for her children and grandchildren one, her new granddaughter, was just born last week. In my selfishness, I want to be the one who films her. I want to make sure it happens. She also had a list of three people she wanted to reconnect with- some unfinished business. I found one of them.
I found her! I helped!
Being 50 sucks in special ways. Life and mortality mean so much more.
So do friends. I am going to be as selfish as I can. Maybe when I feel blessed, they do too.