The Bowl

The Bowl. Remove contents only.

This is ‘The Bowl.’ Every Monday morning Mrs. Kuch (pronounced Cook) fills this bowl up with calories, I mean, snacks, for the teachers at D’Hanis ISD. Mrs. Kuch has been filling this bowl for over twenty years. Inside there is a combination of Fiddle Faddle, cheesy Chex Mix and some cheddar triangles.

She is the devil and the bowl is the devil’s tool!

Actually, Mrs. Kuch is a very nice woman who happens to be very beautiful, and very thin. She even teaches an aerobics class several times a week in D’Hanis proper…somewhere near the store and post office. She is in her sixties, but she looks remarkable, and I can only hope I am near her catagory of beauty at that age. I wonder if the bowl is insurance for her aerobic’s class attendance.

I asked Mrs. Kuch whether she ate the snacks from the bowl and she said, “Oh, I have never had a desire to eat the snacks in the bowl until recently. I think the last two months I have been walking by and grabbing handfuls at a time!” She resisted for all these years. Why is she showing weakness against her own trap now? Is she lying to me to keep me at the bowl?

Yep, Mrs. Kuch stayed away from her own trap until recently. She is now concerned about her will power.

I am angry at “The Bowl” and my own will power. If it was only filled with cheesey Chex Mix, well, I could walk right by 99 percent of the time…but add in Fiddle Faddle and guess what? I can’t seem to be able to walk by that damned bowl! And when the bowl is empty…you guessed it, Mrs. Kuch fills it right back up again. And even if she doesn’t respond to an empty bowl on Wednesday, Monday the contents will be up to the rim for the teachers to enjoy.

This bowl is my enemy. I hate the bowl for being filled with a snack I love. Some days, the bowl looks like it is laughing at me, taunting me! Did I hear the bowl call me fatty fatty no friends??

This bowl is a bully and I need to deal with it now.

“HAH! You cannot resist me!”

 I have learned through my studies on human nature that a bully can be de-clawed, and the relationship between bully and victim can change when the victim takes charge…or the bully changes. After twenty years, the snack-bowl bully isn’t going anywhere, anytime soon. What do I do? Tell someone? I tried that. I ran into the Principal’s office and told Mrs. Shipman, “There is a big bowl of snacks on the table in the teachers lounge..and it stays full!”

She laughed, “Yep and it has been there for twenty years!”
Everyone I told acted the same. They all accepted the bowl. It was a matter of fact, a part of D’Hanis ISD, a member of the family- part of the team.
They all seem to LIKE the bowl!
Once, about ten years ago, the bowl disappeared. Someone took it! The bowl was never returned. I imagined a poor woman, distraught over the ten pounds put on her thighs by Fiddle Faddle, took it and set it on fire to rid her life of the terror.
A new bowl, this bowl, replaced the missing bowl without missing a Monday.
I love the bowl, I hate the bowl.
Will power…where are you? I read this week that will power is a like a muscle and it needs to be exercised like a real muscle. Small temptations at first, then add on more temptations and don’t add too much at one time or your will power..will lose power! Oh, and when adding on some heavy temptations one should definitely bring a spotter!
I am going to try to use this bowl to work on my will power. Obviously I am weak. Obviously I need to win a few rounds.
Monday I have to be in my office by 7:45. We do not have the day off. The bowl will be filled and waiting on the table, just like it is pictured here:
Can you sense the evil?

I will try to walk on by.

Pray for me.

5 thoughts on “The Bowl

  1. OH, I so relate to this! I, too, have a bowl at work. Actually, it is my colleague and FRIEND, who owns and continues to fill the bowl with chocolates/candy (my weakness). She sits right next to me. When I do manage to forget about the bowl, it never fails, someone comes over for goodies, reminding me that the bowl is there.. calling me. I have actually discussed my lack of will power and desire to lose weight with my friend but the bowl continues to get filled, not to mention various other bakery goodies that get placed mere feet from me. The funny thing is she rarely touches the bowl or cookies. In fact, she is LOSING weight. She actually had the nerve to say to me ‘I had to go shopping this weekend for size 6 pants because mine were too big.’ to which I really want to respond ‘F.U.’ lol Suggestions?

    • I think you should say it…not FU, but something like…YOU BITCH!!! LOL!! I get it…wow, I wonder if I am working with her mother and they call and laugh about all of the suckers they are baiting with the BOWL!!

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