How NOT to Gain Weight During the Holidays

How does one NOT gain weight during the holidays?

Don’t eat so much. Oh, and exercise.

Am I being a smarty-pants? Yes and no. The truth is that no diet regime works unless the calorie count is low, say around 1200 and one exercises on a regular basis.

It kills me when I read article after article on how to lose weight and the essence of every article is still the same- eat less, move more. And yes, I still read every one of them. Why? I figure I am just like the rest of the people who read and re-read the newest information out on the market which always turns out to be the same information– I am looking for the miracle moment. Someday I will read the perfect words which will motivate me to a size 4 in a month. I recently received an e-mail from a colleague at work, it began, “Hi, I am not saying your are fat, but I have a product that will help you lose weight. It is Monavie protein shakes.”

I did not return her e-mail. It wasn’t the fat comment it was the protein drink comment. I would rather eat my calories thank you very much. Another thing I would like to tell this colleague is that I would be more receptive to her sales pitches if she actually said hello to me in the hall when I said hello to her first. First rule of sales…people need to think you really care about them… “I am not saying you’re fat” isn’t connecting.

The key to all these articles I read is that I feel connected to the subject. I must be a part of a big crowd, pun intended.

People do not want to hear that the formula for weight loss is as simple as it is: eat less, exercise more. We read about the magic foods than we read about the guy who ate Twinkies and lost a bunch of weight. He ate only 1800 calories of Twinkies a day. Then there is the potato guy who lost weight eating nothing but potatoes. No butter, sour cream and hot oil on these spuds- just spuds. He didn’t eat over 1800 calories either- for men that calorie count is fairly low, women have the magic number at 1200.

I am not saying that I will dive into the cookie or ice cream diet, or the Twinkie or potato diet. Lord knows I will never again cook up the cabbage diet. Gross and double yukko.

One of my other colleagues uses the Lose It app on her phone. She counts calories that way and has lost a lot of weight. I think that is the new fad, and the better way to go. Find an app that helps you count calories! I also like the new applications that comes with the heart monitors, like the body bug. It calculates the amount of calories you are burning. Fun, fun, fun! At THe Biggest Loser Resort at Fitness Ridge, almost everyone had one – I think I was the only one without the device – so when I got home I went straight to Academy and bought a Polar watch. I use it when I work out and periodically I will wear it for a 24 hour period to see how many calories I burn just being me! Last night, from 10 pm to 5:30 am I only burned 526 calories. Low isn’t it? Sure woke me up! I wonder if there is anyway to incorporate some more REM movement or any kind of movement other than the throwing off of covers due to those horrendous night sweats. And, why aren’t I sweating off my dinner? 526 calories…so sad.

So many articles will be written and have been written about how to survive the holiday table…what to eat, what not to eat and how to cook your favorite holiday treats with only half the calories! Whoopee! I will admit this; I never worry about calories on Thanksgiving Day or Christmas Day. Never. Where is the article about that? You know who watches their calories on Thanksgiving and Christmas? Weirdos.

The trick is watching the calories during the season. I love Starbucks Eggnog Lattes. A venti has 610 calories. I know if I drink one of those I cannot have breakfast or lunch. Lose It App says so! If I eat some of that carmel pop corn that was left in the teachers’ lounge I know to curb my intake at lunch and dinner. Party time? Better to eat before the party and have a little there than to not eat and have too much of the dip. Dip costs too much. A small   with spinach dip becomes cellulite in no time at all!

There is no magic pill yet. There is liposuction, but the strange thing is that the remaining fat cells will grow in strange areas to compensate for any weight gain. I knew one lady who had lipo on her back and thighs and buttocks then ended up with a fatty hunch back! Sexy!

The holidays are here. Eat, drink and be merry as long as you keep your calories to a manageable amount. Learn what you burn in a day and get those apps! Eat up on Christmas day and pass out with a full stomach. Just stay away from leftovers. I send mine out, never keeping them in the house. I am so shrewd!

No diet works unless you eat less and move more. Period.


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