I am Only Human

The greatest excuse I can give for any stupid thing I do is: I am only human. Only human? Aren’t I at the top of the food chain along with (thanks to China and India) billions of others? We are only human- we need a break, forgiveness, and some understanding.

David was a man after God’s heart. He certainly was only human. David basically raped Bathsheba after watching her bathe (Peeping Tom as well?) had her husband Uriah the Hittite killed by putting him in the front lines of the war. He wanted someone else’s wife- so he took her. This was a guy after God’s  heart? Sure, Dave was only human. He learned and was sorry; and he got to keep his wife.

Very Luke and Laura.

If you are weren’t born yet, on General Hospital in 1979, Luke raped Laura while she was married to Scotty. Laura fell for her rapist, married him in one of daytime tvs biggest wedding events other than Princess Di’s wedding (I purposefully left out Charles, it was HER day!) and had his children. Beat that All My Children! Scotty a once nice guy, turned mean and spiteful. He eventually forgave the couple; they were only human.

Being only human doesn’t excuse the big mistakes, does it? Only human mistakes are those boo boos which include hurting someone’s feelings, misreading another person or drinking too much wine. (It happens!) Maybe being mad when there was no need for anger, or not doing the right thing when you easily could have. Then there is David- he was rotten.

It is ironic how some only humans fall. Ted Haggert was a pretty judgmental guy. He pointed his finger and promised hell to those who behaved in certain ways, like doing drugs and being homosexual. Ted immersed himself in the lifestyle he publically condemned. He asked for forgiveness, and he got to be on Oprah, the best Only Human show on TV! She really questioned the hell out of him. His old neighborhood has welcomed him back, but I bet he had to promise not to do crack in the front yard. He is, after all, only human. 

I am grateful that someone thought that being only human was excuse enough. Maybe it was the same person who said if you have problems, just Give it to Jesus, or my personal favorite; better than having your eye poked with a sharp stick. Some only human must have had two choices: choice A (No one knows the activity) or Choice B, which was to poke his or her eye with a sharp stick. B was the chosen and now, all of humanity knows…anything is better than poking your eye with a sharp stick. The poor chap who chose to poke his eye? Only human.

I wasn’t a perfect mother. Some nights I wake up and mourn some of my decisions. I divorced their dad when they were in Junior High. I entered the world of trying to be a stand-up comic which entailed being at the comedy club for every open mic for four years.I remeber thinking that if I was ever to HIT in the business, all my sacrifice that was personally felt by my daughters would pay off. We would move to a suburb near LA, I would be raking in the money and gain back all of my mommy points by moving next door to Orlando Bloom.

 My daughters grew into teenagers, then into beautiful (very beautiful) young women. I have apologized for my mistakes, but I can’t take them back. My magic wand is a fraud. Sadly, no time machine exists. I recently read Dr. Northrup’s book on menopause and she does discuss that during this time the female soul tries to clean up old wounds and brings situations to the mental forefront for figuring and forgiving. I needed to ask for forgiveness. Divorce sucks. What it does to kids, and did to mine, sucks. I asked for forgiveness, and the funny part about this is my youngest daughter also wanted me to forgive her for her disposition during her teenage years. Me forgive her for being a teenager? I set her straight…she responded to her life in her own way and she emerged a right-on woman. Teens have it hard, I told her. They think they know everything and find they know very little and I think that is what pisses them off and makes them so…..teenagery. She was normal, she was only being human. I have to accept the same excuse as being true. Like David, I have learned. Like David, I am really sorry about all of my mistakes. Like David, I am only human.


4 thoughts on “I am Only Human

  1. Kim, while this is humorous, it too sits close to home. I had to make a great many sacrifices as well, and so did my son and daughter. How many times I kept telling myself that it would all be worth it once I acquired my degree; having to hall my children to night and week end classes with me was so hard. My little family too have made all the apologies. I thank you for being so open with your life it comforts me. God Bless you and yours.

  2. as a fellow divorcee…with the guilt of what it does to our kids, I can totally relate…..It sucks…but we can’t take it back, we can only tell our kids we are sorry for our mistakes and unfortunately, tell them we are only human, but we love them beyond words!!

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