Recurring dreams are fun because I think it is our subconscious minds only way of trying to get an important point across. When we don’t listen to ourselves, there is a need to make some kind of contact, and a recurring dream is a shout, saying WAKE UP!
For ten years the dream I have had is the same in message; different in scenario. There is a big show, it is my big break and I am not ready. Once I was unable to find my dress and shoes the when the limo (I dream big!) showed up it was too late- the show was over and so was my chance. Another one: I get to a show, I am being watched by network executives. The room is dark and as I sit and wait to be called onstage I realize, I can’t remember my set. On stage I falter, I am heckled and I walk off; no one wants to talk to me and I leave for home. Dozens of other dreams like these have haunted me. Why do I feel I am not ready?
Because I haven’t been, until now.
Like anything a person does, you get better the more you practice. Carlos Alazraqui told me when I had been performing comedy for a year that I should say I have 8 years experience. “No one will take you seriously unless you have been on the road for a while.” There have been a few comics who get on stage for the first time and are on The Tonight Show within the month. I needed the 8 years. I have had some great opportunities. Radio- I got my first job after I worked with an ex-news anchor who knew the right people. I was called to do overseas shows. I was asked for a tape to send to The View and had my first national TV experience.
My dreams have put me on awards shows that I get to and am “bumped” or shows that have no beginning or end, I am just unable to fit in my act.
My sub-conscious, which by the way I briefly met during intense dream therapy at a dream party. I was in a room sitting on a bean bag and all the people in my house knew I was waiting to meet my subconscious; I was told she would be around to see me soon. So I sat an waited. She showed up as the character Jan from The Brady Bunch Movie in the giant afro-wig. She pointed her finger at me and said, “I will get with you later. Peace.” She waved the peace sign at me sixties-style and left. At least my dreams are fun.
Before falling asleep I would ask questions for me and my sub-conscious to work out. One night I asked, “What am I suppose to write about? What is my comedy angle?” My dream was awesome! I was in a field with thousands of women all dressed in white. I would walk up to them and ask, “What should I write about?” Every time the answer was the same, “You know!”
In this dream I asked a lot of women in white that question. I even got to fly up in a big barn where some of them were sitting. “You know! You now! You Know!”
I woke up and quickly wrote down the dream, then promptly added, ‘I still don’t know what I am suppose to write about.’ Now, I do. I got it finally. After years of writing about my life, my kids and experiences it dawned on me that I write what I know. My main audience is women, men laugh as well, but I really do enjoy playing jester to my kind. We are in need of laughter as much as understanding and truth. Sometimes, after a show I will talk to my female tribe and they will say things like, “That was my life you were talking about…on my gosh, you WERE the ovary!” Nothing tops a hug from another woman whose life you have just touched through laughter, other being a mother and having my grand baby, who is almost hatched, at my house for Christmas. Women invented disclaimers, not the pharmaceutical companies!
The answer is clear, the show is near. Will I be ready? My outfit is in the closet. My hair, though short, is cut and cute. My set is close, one more open-mic on Wednesday. I will be at the show early, and I am pretty sure I will remember my jokes. They are a part of me like the women dressed in white in my dream.
October 3rd, Scottish Rite Theater, 8 pm. I was asked to perform as a featured comic from San Antonio by Kiki Melendez. She is amazing. She and Eva Longoria Parker have produced this show for women comics- see, we are just as funny as men. Todd Glass once told me that because I was a woman I would never see people in the audience folded over in laughter. When I did one night look into the crowd and see not just women, but men laughing and holding their stomachs and YES, doubled over; I wished I had had a camera. I am being given a chance to shine, I’ll take it!
And, I will be ready.