Winning and The Rosie O’Donnell Show

rosieDriving to school on a cool, breezy fall morning,  some year long ago in the 1990’s,  I was listening to my favorite radio station. San Antonio, in my opinion at the time had only one morning show worth tuning to, and that was Magic, 105.3 with Sonny Melendrez and Megan Bishop. For years I woke my daughters up with the sound of Sonny, Megan and the music of the 70’s, 80’s and today!! Yes, I even participated at times and called in so Sonny could say “Happy Birthday” to my girls, and when I began performing comedy and was a player in Laff Stock, I got to go into the radio station and be on the show! Of course Megan and Sonny were gracious and fun; I was in heaven! These people were the stars of my mornings, and I was a performer, for real!

Megan Bishop was the perfect companion to Sonny in my humble opinion. She really sounded genuinely interested in everything he had to say and she seemed to genuinely laugh at all his jokes! I remember thinking she was a great person and would be a wonderful friend.

Now, that is the stuff of a good morning show.

That day in my mini-van I was listening about the contest Magic was having in which the prize was a trip to New York and a moment on the Rosie O’Donnell show. The person who raised the most money for her charity, child advocacy, would get the trip and be the person to introduce Rosie. It has been a few years, but if you ever saw the show, a member of the audience would introduce her then have a quick chat.

The contest was a month old and ending in a week. I heard about it every weekday for a month- but on this morning something happened in my car. I have always believed it was God being louder than usual, I could actually hear him that day. “You will win this contest. You will go to New York and meet Rosie. Do it. Get started today!”

Sure, my adrenaline was rushing because I KNOW I wasn’t saying those things. Two thoughts; okay I am crazy, God is speaking to me. I used to work in a mental institution, I know the consequences of hearing GOD! Two: God is speaking to me, I will win and I am suppose to meet Rosie O’Donnell for SOME reason!

I went with two. As soon as I had a break from class, I got on the phone and called the station. “Megan! Hi, this is Kim Kerley, you know Kim Kerley? From Laff Stock? Yeah, great, how are you? I need to enter the Rosie O’Donnell contest. I have something to say, and it is this; I KNOW I am going to win! Megan, you know how Kathleen Bitner, the psychic who comes on your show and predicts stuff? I am like her today, I KNOW! Write it down, Kim Kerley is going to win!”

Megan, being her gracious radio-personality self said, ” Okay, good luck!” and “oh, by the way you only have three days to raise some money.”

I told her I knew that, asked about the proper paperwork needed and started my fund-raising activities. The last thing  I told her was to write it down, Kim Kerley is going to win. I didn’t tell her that GOD told me so. I knew I sounded crazy enough.

I won. Did you doubt? I didn’t for a second. Even when my name was announced I was not surprised. I was already on phase two of this journey…why? Why was this the ONE time God spoke so loud and clear to me. Why this contest? Why Rosie O’Donnell? Will she be the catalyst for my career? Will she be the one that helps me to the next comedy level?

I figured that was it- Rosie was going to be my new best friend. God was setting it up.

New York was cold, windy and wonderful! I was never happier to be so far from home. I was housed in a nice hotel and had some time to see the sights. After eating a bagel at Tiffany’s I headed to Trump Tower, then off to the subways, just because. The show was being taped early the following day and after I wowed Rosie, set up my meeting with her to plan my next career move, I planned on going to the Statue of Liberty, then Little Italy.

Sonny and his son met me at NBC with some news. Rosie had no idea we were there. None. Sonny was not pleased and he said he knew the producer and would get us some seats. (We didn’t even have seats!)

We got our seats, but I was not going to introduce Rosie and have my national TV moment with her. Donna Shalayla was there for that, and when I saw her, by the way, she is very short, I wanted to pull a Lucy, gag her and put her in the closet for a few moments. Sonny is no Ethel, and gagging a member of the cabinet will get you 10 to 20. So I sat in my seat, which I was grateful to have, ate my snack which Rosie provided for all members of the audience, and held back my tears.

When Rosie came out she looked over at Sonny and me. She knew what had happened. We were told after the show to wait and we would get some personal time with her to make up for the mistakes that were made, by somebody…

She was great. We talked about comedy. I gave her a basket full of Texas items and baby gifts; little cowboy boots, some Texas shaped chips, my headshot and a tape of one of my shows. I was not a very good comic then. I hadn’t even started hosting yet. I was still a newbie- and my tape had to, in retrospect, be pretty bad.

We never became best friends. My career has no Rosie link. So WHY did I know I was going to win? What was, or is God up to with this?

I have a show on October 3rd in San Antonio, Texas. KiKi Melendez and Eva Longoria-Parker are the producers of a show of women comics called The Hot Tamales. KiKi had called the local comedy clubs and asked for the name of San Antonio’s number 1 female comic. She was given my name. She booked me. I am in comic heaven because getting a job like that is a blessing.

Show by show I wait for the next Rosie link- a God wink; at least that is what I think!


7 thoughts on “Winning and The Rosie O’Donnell Show

  1. Kim,
    I think you are so day someone out there will notice. I think you’re funnier than many of the comediannes
    I see on T.V. be patient your time will come. In the mean time you’ve got a great resume you’ve been doing comedy for years!

  2. OMG-I remember ALL that !!!!! To heck with Rosie……I think Ellen would LOVE you and I bet she has much better inspirational advice for you….you are ARE the number one comic here and a BETTER friend !!!!!

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