The Sub-Line

I am a teacher. If I am going to be out for any  reason, I notify the sub-line. By putting in the date of my absence, reason for my absence and the special instructions, I fulfill the requirement for the automated system to find a replacement for the day I will miss. The system calls the substitutes that work for the district that until someone accepts the job. It is a beautiful thing.

When the person receiving the call from the automated system they hear a nice man saying something like, “Hello, this is the automated system for The YouWouldn’t Believe How Crazy Our Teachers Are School District. There will be an absence on (Now insert a pre-programmed woman’s voice for the date with the strange inflections) Friday, September 25th, from 7:30am to 4:30pm. ” Back to the man; “To accept this job please press the pound sign, otherwise press the loser key for not accepting the job.”

Like magic, I put in for a sub and they (usually) appear on the designated day. Now, do they follow the lesson plan? Maybe. Do they get picked on by the students and they leave long notes about how misbehaved the classes were? Maybe. Do the students even give their real names? Maybe. But the sub gets an education even if the kids didn’t that day.

When Sarah Palin was picked to be the presidential running mate to John McCain, I was offended. Yes, she was Governor of Alaska, very pretty, and she had some stage presence; charisma! But, she was no Kay Bailey or Elizabeth Dole; women who have strong educations and a long resume of political service. I didn’t get the moose killing chick from Alaska- and I didn’t like her. Maybe, I thought, if she had a better record- at least one longer than an old 45- She kept screwing up her media spots, she was ridiculous in front of the Arabs, she sounded a lot like…George Bush-

If she only had more experience; had been a substitute Vice-President, or President.

“Hello, this is the automated substitute system for, The United States Government. There will be an absence for: The President of the United States, on August 31st, from 12am to 12 pm. To accept this job press the pound key.”

If Sarah could have subbed in Washington at least for a season or two, maybe she would have had a better idea of what the game was out there. As sub- President she could have sat in a CIA meeting, waged a war (that would be corrected when the REAL President was back in office the next day) slashed some social funding- had a sex scandal with a page. The senate and congress could mess wit hher like students do when thye have subs; say they have to go to the bathroom duting a meeting then never come back,  or all the cabinet members don’t sit in their real seats and give their real names the day she is there– haha!!! She would end each day subbing a little more the wiser.

All jobs should have the sub system…from the President to a Hooters waitress. Maybe the waitress wouldn’t be AS pretty or buxom or thin,or even have teeth, but you would get your wings and the sub-waitress would get a days pay.

It is a beautiful thing.


3 thoughts on “The Sub-Line

  1. Always bashing the republicans….especially George, you know I love George, truly. Actually I think anyone can be the president…..what are the true qualifications. A real person (moose killer) could do better than most of the power seeking idots in DC. kw

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s