Wearing White Pants

I never owned white pants before this one particularly strange shopping trip. I never know what self will end up shopping-will it be the “I will be skinny in a month” self, what I call the future shopper; the “I am fat and probably won’t buy anything” self, “I feel good about myself today so I believe that these white pants do NOT make me look ten pounds heavier and I can wear them all day without mishap”

I didn’t even wear them right away- I put them in the drawer because the “what was I thinking buying white pants” self over rode any inclination I had to wear them. The day came when I pulled them out of the drawer and actually put them on because my “I don’t feel like doing laundry self” set me up…Of course they fit because when I bought them remember I was feeling good about myself and actually went with my correct size. Most of my tops are for black pants and blue jeans- white works well within that type of wardrobe, so I didn’t have to suffer a new upper torso look. 

White pants! It was going to be a great day- I had errands to run having just moved into a new home. We needed a ceiling fan, some blinds, a few door knobs. Home depot, Lowes and Walmart…fun, fun, fun. I felt like Courtney Cox, she is a big fan of the remodel and I just know she does it with fashion sense. My first stop was Lowes. I craned my neck for a good 30 minutes to find just the right ceiling fan (which I had to take back the next day because it was NOT the right ceiling fan) I picked up the box, put it in my cart and then I saw it, dirt from somewhere had gotten on BOTH legs of my pants. I had them on for only an hour and poof, dirty. I should have known, I was not he girl in high school who could wear sweaters on a sunny day and not sweat. I was never the girl who could wear a scarf in dramatically different looks,on-line already wrapped- I did master one, the wrap around, the layered circular which makes me look like an badly woven spool of really thick thread, even though I watched he infomercial when I bought it.  

I washed my white pants after the disastrous day of the Lowes dirt and the lunch stain. Most of my jeans have the lunch stain, but blue jeans hide what I feel is an eating disorder. Not a neat eater…I try very hard to keep the food on the plate, on the fork in then in my mouth….just to many steps and they sometimes get out of order.  Alone at Panera, eating a salad and listening in to the other patrons who had friends, talking about their fun summers and their vacations, and yes, some were wearing white pants, I dropped one small piece of lettuce on my lap. White absorbs asian sesame ginger dressing fast.  So I washed them using some bleach and the darned pants looked sort of blue. What is up with that?

One day of  of wearing white jeans and they turned into a splotchy mess, like they had some kind of pants psoriasis. My mom called me a ‘Tom-boy’ when I was growing up, and my polyester short sets were always torn and stained, but it was a badge of honor for me…I played hard. I guess that is still true though I am no longer a Tom-boy… I am woman! I think I will weart my white pants again and again, when I garden, clean up the garage, change a tire- I think I should just embrace who I am in white pants. Every spot a badge of honor.



3 thoughts on “Wearing White Pants

  1. I think Tammy Forbes is the only human being who could actually wear a sweater in that Texas heat we grew up in and not sweat! I never saw a drop on her!! Me on the other hand … I don’t wear a sweater in the heat and I too, cannot be trusted with the white pant … too, too much to do to be worried about dodging a slobbery dog or dusty ledge.

  2. I rock white pants, lime green t-shirt and hot pink lipstick– LUUUUUUUVVVVVVVVVVV it!
    I may look like a short, fat, mexican flamingo, but I’m struttin’ my stuff (lotta stuff) because I think I’m lookin’ gooood! 🙂

    Keep it comin’ Kim!

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