A Blog for My Friends

I got a phone call early Tuesday morning. I had missed two calls…I sleep with earplugs and I just did not hear my phone. I have this cool Indian Flute ringer and it is soothing to the ear. Too soothing as it did not wake me up when I was needed. I would like to preface this story with something I was thinking just the day before. I was running (without my iPod) so I was thinking about a lot of things. One was friends. I want a friend in my life that just gets me and wants to share fun times and shopping and stories. Someone to get a manicure with, to talk about kids with, to talk about crows feet and Botox.

I thought of MeLee; my buddy from Kyle First Baptist Awana Days. From summers at the Aquarina Springs pool, too many laughs about all kinds of stuff. I have ALWAYS been comfortable with her. I miss her…I made note to self to contact her.

I returned her two missed calls at about 6 am on Tuesday morning. Her husband died. I could not understand her…her grief was too great, but I knew that I was honored to be a friend at this time. What do you say when someone loses their love? Their life, both present and future? What do you say?

I told her I loved her and I do. I told her to not think about tomorrow. Jesus is awesome- great advice JC. I told her to feel…to cry and just mourn. Before we hung up, I said remember, don’t worry about the future… just feel.

I live too far away and have a brand new job, but I will see her tomorrow. I need to see her. Now I am being a bit selfish. I want to see her smile. See. Selfish!

I have some friends I met while living in Germany. Matt and Annette. They had children about he same age as mine and when we met our babies were babies. Annette and I would open our windows and yell across the street to each other in our small village. We would watch our kids walk to the others apartment. I learned more from Annette about being a mom than from any other person or source. I read some books…lots of books…but watching Annette cut toast and make pancakes in heart shapes; well, it spoke more to me than Dr. Dobson. I watched her and learned from her. I had my kids on a schedule similar to Annette. We talked and shared. I soaked it in and I am grateful for her…to this day she is one of my most favorite people. She, too lives far away.

Annette just had a hip replaced last week. She actually went for a ‘last’ run. So Annette. This is the same lady who moved to Mississippi with her family to build houses for those who lost their homes from Katrina’s winds. Her daughter (the future president of the US, I swear she is super smart) is an architect. Her husband is a builder, as is their son. I guess Annette is a also a builder. This family has given.

Matt learned he has cancer. He will be coming to Houston to get treatment at MD Anderson. I want them to stay in my home in Katy. I am being selfish again! “Pick my house! Let me help so I can feel less helpless!”

Is that normal?

Then there is my buddy with cancer who informed me she had 4 to 6  months to live. This lady is amazing. When she told me her prognosis, I asked questions. I asked how she was dealing with this news; that her end is near. What does one do with their last months? She is going to spend it with her daughters and grandchildren. “The most important people in my life live in my home. They are what matters.” Her youngest daughter is in college. I told her she should go to class with her. I thought, if it was me, I would be with my family, my girls, my grandson, my Charlie every minute I could.

I want to film her. She would like to leave messages for her children and grandchildren one, her new granddaughter, was just born last week. In my selfishness, I want to be the one who films her. I want to make sure it happens. She also had a list of three people she wanted to reconnect with- some unfinished business. I found one of them.

I found her! I helped!

Being 50 sucks in special ways. Life and mortality mean so much more.

So do friends. I am going to be as selfish as I can. Maybe when I feel blessed, they do too.

Planning

I made one change to the plans. I asked for a bigger bedroom. At our age we have different living needs. We spend most of our time in the kitchen and bedroom. One room I have always wanted on the large side is the master bath and a nice walk-in closet! “Can you move this wall and add a few feet in the back?” I asked.

Click. Save. Done.

I am excited that the house has a Tuscan flair to it. DAYOC-FRONT[1]

We pour concrete on Tuesday. The weather report looks good. We are being blessed with a wonderful week next week here in South Texas. The temperatures are suppose to be in the 70′s all week starting Monday, Valentines Day!

So far, no fights. When do they start?

I would rather let the builder build. Maybe when I buy the furniture we will fight. He doesn’t know about the new bedroom set I want….yet!

Finding a Place to Call Home

In our quest to find a place to call home, we had to find a house. I am not into apartments, trailers or caves. We had six weeks to move to our new location, three hours and one right turn from the old location. If you read my previous blog about Steve Cruz you will learn that we were not allowed see the one house we were really interested in…a fixer upper owned by Freddie Mac. When we decided to put an offer in even though he did not let us see the house, there was another offer already in and funny thing is it happened the day the price dropped almost 50 thousand dollars. We liked the three acres the house was nestled on. I never dreamed a real estate broker would break the rules..we never had a chance.

Next on our list was The River House. We named it The River House because it was on the river! The land was manicured and landscaped and beautiful. I liked everything about the house except that is was too near the highway and it came with too high of a price tag. The house needed renovation, but we thought we could suffer with the paneling and outdated kitchen, bathrooms and floors for a while. The view was nice, more than nice, but the sounds of cars did take away some of the ambiance. After we bought the lot on the golf course, where we are building now, I asked Charlie to make an offer on The River House…what we could afford. It was too late.

I do believe life unfolds as it should.

Our Mighty Oak

So we went with number three on our list of three. Buy a lot and build. We chose the least expensive lot with a mature oak adorning the left end. It is a nice lot, but it was cheaper because the driving range is within range. I may have to garden with a helmet on! People who use this driving range are very strong and very bad. We have way too many golf balls flying onto our lot. We are planning a tree hedge already.

I bought the lot on December 27th. I bought the mortgage on Ground Hog Day. We started the foundation as soon as we could. I like the look – activity means I am a few days closer to putting clean sheets on the bed and sleeping under my own roof.

Foundation under Texas blue sky

It has begun, and Charlie, my builder is amazing. He has everything in order. I have agreed to certain lighting fixtures, colors and rock. I had a small incident with the electric company which he fixed and kept me from spending 1500 dollars. Maybe I should take him with me to the mall when I go…he is very good with the haggle.

 

The house plans were an easy pick. We knew how big the house had to be to stay in budget, and Charlie knows the guy who draws the plans. We chose one of his stock plans- it is nice, but this was no dream home pick. My dream home is a very large craftsman with wood. Lots and lots of wood.

 

So, in building this house, maybe I have stayed calm is due to the fact that it is not my DREAM house…but having a new home go up in my name is something I have only dreamed of- it is nice to see it happening in this dimension. Every dream I have that speaks to me and means SOMETHING always has a house in it as a main feature. Maybe this house has a main feature- something that  lies within the walls to be built which I cannot see yet.

 

Maybe it is Home.