Face to Face

Have you ever taken a picture of a hair cut to a stylist, point at it and say “I want to look like that” ? Was it the haircut or the movie star or model you really wanted to look like? I am guilty of wanting Farrah Fawcett’s haircut in the 70′s. I wanted the hair, but truth be told..I wanted to be HER! Of course I was no where close…other than my great teeth, we shared nothing in appearance.

I did not make my mind up to get my face fillers until I walked into the office last Monday morning. Even when I was in the office, I was still open to leaving. I did not like my nurse. Here I was, starting a new adventure (in my mind anyway) and I wanted to share my joy, my thinking, my sense of humor. I wanted an experience. She was not giving me any kindness, no eye contact, no smiles. Yes, I was close to walking out and blaming my nurse, who was just a bad tour guide! Thank goodness my doctor was gregarious, interested (or at least pretended to be) and unafraid of what was ahead for my head!

I did this because I was looking old. After reading for the last ten years about the remedies for sagging faces, I was happy with this new generation of fillers and results. I booked my day with trepidation because I had never done it before and did not have any friends who had done this before. I was walking in without ghosts of girlfriends experiences past. One of my friends had Botox- she loved it even though she had a small reaction. She became tired and was couch bound for a day. She went back for seconds so the day on the couch did not deter her.

The Botox is not an instant frown freezer. It takes 12 days (or more) before it is 100 percent, then, I guess, it dissipates slowly. I like the way it feels. It slowly smoothed my frown line. I want more now, maybe around my eyes…who knows!

I still have a small amount of swelling around my mouth. However, I like what I see. My lips are lined, a little bigger than I imagined they would be, but not big as in someone can tell I had injections in them. My nasal folds are looking good- unfortunately I have some major wrinkles, now pushed out instead of lining my face like a dry water creek.

I will post pictures after three weeks. In the meantime, if you were thinking about a little filler, some Botox and possibly a new haircut…go for it. Take in an old picture of yourself, and say, “I want to look like that!”

One Day After

Nine Days Later

A Few Poems from Years Gone By!

Bad Luck

Which way does it blow?
Can the wind push the sails of fate
Hard and Fast
Crashing the sirens at my feet?
They wither in my presence.
For breath is life and I must breathe
Taking in my chest a dying power
Crystallizing my veins
And hardening my heart against the grass.
I cannot run; I cannot run.
Dimly now I see
Truth is pure and rolls itself above
But holds no medicine for me
Just a nod, “How art thee?”

 Solstice

Like a storm in the winter you came into my life                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Your heart open behind a wall of thunder
Your eyes of laughter                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Shaded by petrified pain.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Yet your love broke through.
Like a spring rain you nourished my body
Giving life in a way I had only hoped
And love in a way  that caused my soul
To touch yours.

Like the sun in summer                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Our love was laid bare
Open to the heat of passion which burned
Without prejudice                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          And thusly exposed our cores                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Where our souls exist.

Like the colors of fall                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      We were unable to hide from the vivid reality of who we are
One to the other                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 We met our solstice                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        And now we wane away from each other
Awaiting a new year.

I Love You

I know my heart adorns a shape of bliss
Where Love is born of private musings trysts
Encased the whole, my swollen heart
First words are with a kiss.

Love doth have its own transcendence
It begs of knowing from solace stance
Bursting forth from mingle groans
To ask a soul to dance.

Awaken must the immortal boundaries tear
And wake of many whispers share
To kiss and dance in solid light
Where time and eyes are paired.

Sunsets

I watched the sunset tonight

 The colors were bright, colorful and full of power.

And the Sun was in it’s glory

Dressed with the clouds
And my thoughts of you.
The Sun burns unabashedly

 And set itself down tonight with such beauty

 Only a dead soul would not feel

And marvel at being witness
To the hand of God.
So you and I have set.

Our colors were bright colorful and full of power.

We created our glory.

Dressed ourselves in love
And each other.

We burned unabashedly.

Our bodies vessels for mingling our spirits.

 And we danced with such feeling and loved with such force,

Only the Sun compares.

For in the morning it will rise

And that, too will be amazing.

You and I will also rise,

Our love will always be a part of us, a gift, a spark of the Sun,

Given to us

By the hand of God.

It’s Swell

Just 101 My inspiration bracelet. Thaks (finally) Dr. Oz's people!

Two really cool things happened today. One, I finally got my Just 10  bracelet from Dr. OZ. I signed up for it in September. I was so excited about it. I never did get Lance Armstrong’s yellow band with Livestrong on it- though I wanted one, just not enough to go get one. If I was given a Livestrong bracelet I would have worn it. BUT, the fact remains, I did not pursue it- Just 10, I pursued. I put myself out there. I filled out a very personal questionaire, then asked for the bracelet to be mailed. Dr. Oz’s website said I would get the bracelet in 4 to 6 weeks. After 6 weeks went  by I felt stood up. I should never have given them my weight and address. I felt so, so used.

18 weeks later, the Just 10 bracelet arrived. I am so happy and now refreshed and renewed in my quest to lose 10 pounds (again). What is it about the bracelet that speaks to me? It is what I am all about baby.

Just 10.

Did you know if you drop just 10 pounds, your body freshens up, all kinds of good things happen chemically and cosmetically. I am all about Just 10.

Th second thing really happened yesterday. I went to the dermatologist and got “some work done”. Oh yeah- I am one swollen, bruised lipped lady. And I am happy about it. I can see the promised land and it is a few days away.  I got my puppet lines filled in. I got some Botox in my frown lines and had my lips lined. 50 years young baby!!

None of the brochures showed this step, the "you'll look like a crash victim" step.

This picture is one day after the injections. I have since learned that some people swell a lot (me) and some do not swell at all. NOTHING was said about the bruises. I had to pick up my hormones today. I had to be in public. People stared. I looked down. Not a good day to not be a muslim. I also went to the grocery store. Children stared and one pointed. “Don’t point!” yelled the mother to her 16 year old daughter. I then went to the movies. I was the single, swollen freak in the front. Where was this in the brochure. I read that I could do anything I wanted, there was no downtime!! What..!! I never saw anyone who looked like me in the grocery store before.

 

My puppet lines, or the nasal labial folds, were really starting to bug me. I guess they were showing the world my age, like rings in a tree, my nasal labial folds could be counted on to take away from how I looked and more importantly, how I felt about how I looked.

 

I wanted a fun experience. I tried to have fun with the nurse, but she was a Scrooge. No smile, no nice, just ice for my face and “I will check back later.” Later never came, but thank goodness the doctor was awesome! She was fun…she was an artist. I felt like she cared how my folds were looking. Of course I had some trepidation…I can’t find a good hairstylist, what was I thinking trusting a pretty, pregnant dermatologist who is an avid Real Housewife’s fan? When she asked me how I wanted my lips to look, I told her NOT like Taylor’s from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She laughed. She says she hears that more than 10 times a day.

 

Poor Taylor.

 

I left the office having paid my bill and prepared to send off for my rebate. Awesome. Like an HEB LOCO meal- I got a major deal.

 

I will take pictures after the swelling goes down. In the meantime, I will watch the mealtimes so I can honor my Just 10 commitment.

Communication Station

The number one problem with relationships is communication. Communication about money, sex, children, religion. The list is long and can be personalized for everyone! Chas and I communicate fairly well. Sometimes I feel his words come like a slow internet connection. He gets distracted, pauses for long periods and then forgets what the point he was trying to make. “Reboot!” I yell!! “Reboot! Get it out old man! What? What?”

“Huh?”

One thing I believe is true is that most men do not wish to ‘overly’ communicate. Keep it simple, straightforward, and fast. If I do need to talk with Chas about something I begin with a time limit, “I need about 5 minutes of your time to talk about (fill in the blank). Now, once I say “talk” his eyes begin to glaze over, but I remind him of the time limit- and the key to being able to repeat this process is to keep that time limit sacred. My trainers at Fitness Ridge would yell positive acclamations, one of my favorites was that I could do anything for a minute. It worked. I tried hard and pushed myself for those sixty seconds proving the trainers right. Any man can communicate for 5 minutes.

There are simple rules in relationship conflict. Never start a sentence with “You make me” as no one in a relationship MAKES us do anything. Yep, we chose and should start our talks with “I feel, I believe, I sense.”  Takes the edge off and keeps the man listening. He may think, “so far so good, I am not being blamed for anything!”

Husband number two was funny when we had our 5 minute talks. At first, no matter what I said he yelled at me and attacked like he was a cornered man-beast. I would say, “I didn’t deserve that statement. I don’t understand why you are attacking me when all I am doing is trying to clear up a possible misconception on my part. Help me understand.”

The last time he ever attacked believing it was a counter-attack I asked him what face was he seeing? Ex-wife maybe? I watched his whole body relax, he listened and talked for the next five minutes and the issue was put to a nice, peaceful rest. I am happy to report that up until and through our divorce our communication was awesome! Very civil, very humane.

The other day, IT happened. Chas told ME, the queen of emotion exposure, that I was not communicating with him well enough.

He later recanted.

So sue me, I like to talk, share, communicate. Today, on Kathie Lee and Hoda (this is my first experience outside of SNL, and was shocked to see that they do, indeed, drink on set!) they talked about how people over-share. This coming from Katie Lee? I know moe about Frank and Cody than I do about members of my own family. Bottom line of that segment was that is was okay to go to a private place and scream if  an emotironal release is needed. Hoda did ask if the screaming would actually make a person’s blood pressure increase as opposed to decrease?

It depends on what made the person want to scream in the first place. Cheers!

Being misunderstood is probable one of the most frustrating experiences for me. I try hard to present a clear image of who I am. Like Forrest says, you can tell a lot about a person by their shoes…where they are going, where they have been. But, really, the truth is that we need more than our soles to bear our souls! I really believe that most men wish that we could read their minds and they wouldn’t have to talk, even for those safe five minutes. Wouldn’t it be cool if we could read our mates mind?

Or not?

Keller Williams Dropped the Ball- for FreddieMac?

I am going to tell you a story about a house – a house owned by the bank and under “Freddie Mac.”  This house had a sign in the front yard that said “For Sale”. Under the sign was another sign- it had the listing agent’s name and number. Steve Cruz with Keller Williams. I called the number on a Friday, the next Saturday and almost every day after for three weeks.

I had an agent working for me as well, also making calls.

For three weeks I tried to view a home – and for three weeks I was ignored. So, I called my agent and said, put in an offer, note I was denied a showing.

After being on the market for over 16 months, that house was suddenly under contract…AFTER the bank dropped the price by 54 thousand dollars. In fact, it happened the same day I decided to put an offer on the house.

I called to ask Steve if the government knew how crummy of an agent he was, but he never returned that call either.

I could have put in an offer, but I decided that I did not want the negativity- and I certainly did not want Steve Cruz to get ANY money from ANY transaction with my name on it.

Bad business. Bad real estate agent. I wondered if it was legal to actually NOT show a house? I have the approval letter, the down payment, the good job…what did Steve Cruz get out of this? I just wonder…and I wonder if Keller Williams knows they could have had a sale three weeks earlier? I wonder if Steve bought it- or one of his friends. Either way, I didn’t know how to get in the house to see it and NO ONE followed through on getting me into the house.

How many other homes, owned by the government are being sold to the lowest bidder of the agents who are representing them?

Steve…You suck…

But the good news is I did not buy the house that really is just a piece of poo. No renovations in my immediate future…wait….Steve, you may really have just done me a huge favor.

Merry Christmas Steve. (I still do not like you though).

Oh, Sorry!

Yeah, I said IT again. I apologize. Ugh. The one time I felt bold enough to stand up for myself, to not let someone get away with a curt e-mail…I ended up being the one who was… well, more curt.

I will explain.

At work I have made it a goal to get the secretaries to say hello and maybe exchange a smile. I used to have a small exchange like, “How are you today?”

“I am great, thanks, have a wonderful day!”

Instead, I pass by and say “hello” in return I have been ignored. I even said hello once and then when I was ignored said, “Why hello Kim how  are you today?” A moment of weakness. I had just become so frustrated. There are two secretaries and they work really hard. I know they are under some major pressure. I had no idea that by entering their space and then entering their restroom (which in my opinion is the nicest at the school) I was trespassing on unspoken territory.

At Cox radio, I worked with a woman who was just pure evil. Sister of Satan. I would tip toe past her door hoping to not get a glance from her evil eye. She was anorexic and a major drunk. She had some power though,and wielded it with bi-polar abandon (her husband let that one slip). I bought a book called, Working with You is Killing Me. I read it. During that time she banned me from the company Christmas party because I was on-air. I didn’t want to go, I just wanted a shot at the prizes…you know…put my name in the hat. Somehow she took my name out of the hat. I was not eligible for the prizes. Stuff like a trip to Vegas, televisions, computers. Yep, sister Satan had it out for me that week. She found others to mean up on…but my time hit the week of the party! A friend told me to find out which Starbucks drink she liked, and encouraged me to buy her one. I imagined so she could drink it and throw it up later.

I also watched The Secret during my week of Kirsten calamity. The nice people who made this movie told me it was okay to pray her away. So I did pray. In the meantime I bought her that coffee drink. She didn’t even say thank you.

Then, one happy glorious morning as I tip-toed past her office I noticed a note on the locked door. She had left. She resigned and jumped from our ship to the opponent’s. My first thought? I wasted four bucks on her damn drink. My second thought? Oh, THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!!! Whoopeee!!!!!

Back to the secretaries. One is pretty nice and the other I have been told can be very nice. I learned to never waste a good coffee drink, so I proceeded with just plain ole fashioned niceness. For the last year and a half I walk in on a daily basis to say hello.

But I recently gave up. Mistake number one.

Next interaction: I forgot to pick up my report cards for distribution, so one of the secretaries, the one I had to apologize to, came to my room and sort of plopped them down with a bit of…aggitation. When she walked out, my students laughed at me. “She made you look bad, Ms Dayoc!” I didn’t think that, I was just surprised she thought it was okay to do that- and like a piece of sand between my butt checks, it irritated me just enough.

I needed to take a day off for some appointments and I e-mailed her with this information and told her I needed to spend my flex card.

First problem, I shouldn’t have explained anything. It is my business.

She e-mailed back: Flex card? Explain

So I did. I said, if you want personal information I will give it. No big deal.

I found out later that day that she may have confused FLEX card with FLEX days. My flex card is my health benefits card with money on it I have to spend by December 31st. Flex days must have something to do with something she knows about- me? I still have no clue. But the bottom line, the truth, I should NEVER had been rude via e-mail.

I approached her desk. She always says hello to me- and is not my office adversary. She did plop those report cards. “I wanted to tell you that I know my correspondence with you was wrong. I should not have given you a curt response. I misunderstood, but that was no excuse. I apologize.” I then told her I learned of the FLEX time…which was a lie. I still don’t know what that is.

She looked at me and asked how I would ever think she was capable of questioning me about my health issues.

I then said, “It was not acceptable. I learned something. Being even a little bit rude is wrong. I am treated a certain way in this office and…”

She interrupted me and said, “I understand.”

It does not matter if I am ignored, frowned at or if my report cards are aggressively placed on my desk with an eye-roll and a sigh….I need to maintain a professional attitude and like the Toltecs….learn to NOT TAKE OTHER’S ACTIONS PERSONALLY!!!

Christmas Cards

It has finally happened. Today is December 16th and I have yet to receive one Christmas card. I won’t count the card from my car insurance company, or the one from the hairstylist who I would never go back to even with a coupon for a free color with a cut. And, for the sake of this post, I am also not counting work cards that are handed out. I love those work cards…but work is work- and when I change jobs, I lose that card by default. I am spotlighting the mailbox Christmas Card.

It was a slow death. I stopped sending cards about fifteen years ago. It was an arduous exercise of  writing, addressing, and stamping almost 50 cards a year. I felt I was reaching out and touching those I cared for. Now, I would rather clean the garage than fill out cards. If you saw my garage, you’d get it. Chas is a borderline hoarder. Oh yeah, some day we may need something form one of those piles! Truth is, I began to hate card time, and I didn’t like what it was doing to me! If someone did not send a card back- well, I crossed them off my list after a few no-show years. Then, there were those who would send me a card just because, damn it, I sent them one.

There was no joy in sending out my cards even though they were shaped like the letters J O and Y.

The cost of cards is high. I do have a small inventory of cards I have bought over the years in after Christmas sales, promising myself that I would resume the practice- but alas, those cards are my Christmas bane. I have had a grandiose idea of taking a picture with my family, and sending it out like my friend MeLee does every year. (I am still expecting that one!?) I love the picture cards… I have actually kept them all. Actually, I have kept most of my Christmas cards for the last few years. My attempt at hoarding. If I girded my loins, scribbled my name and sent my cards, I would hear from some of my dear, old friends…right?

Maybe.

I wonder if  I would be able to reestablish some Christmas Card relationships? Surely it would take a few years, I think I may have to prove myself Christmas Card worthy! I have been the no-show, the receiver, not the giver. But, there is an unwritten rule in the giving of Christmas cards: If you do not send them, you do not get them. They are like boomerangs and  compliments. Isn’t it awkward to give compliments over and over and NEVER get one back?

I do not deserve your cards. I admit it. My bad. Maybe next year.

Did I mention I was off to clean the garage?

 

 

How NOT to Gain Weight During the Holidays

How does one NOT gain weight during the holidays?

Don’t eat so much. Oh, and exercise.

Am I being a smarty-pants? Yes and no. The truth is that no diet regime works unless the calorie count is low, say around 1200 and one exercises on a regular basis.

It kills me when I read article after article on how to lose weight and the essence of every article is still the same- eat less, move more. And yes, I still read every one of them. Why? I figure I am just like the rest of the people who read and re-read the newest information out on the market which always turns out to be the same information– I am looking for the miracle moment. Someday I will read the perfect words which will motivate me to a size 4 in a month. I recently received an e-mail from a colleague at work, it began, “Hi, I am not saying your are fat, but I have a product that will help you lose weight. It is Monavie protein shakes.”

I did not return her e-mail. It wasn’t the fat comment it was the protein drink comment. I would rather eat my calories thank you very much. Another thing I would like to tell this colleague is that I would be more receptive to her sales pitches if she actually said hello to me in the hall when I said hello to her first. First rule of sales…people need to think you really care about them… “I am not saying you’re fat” isn’t connecting.

The key to all these articles I read is that I feel connected to the subject. I must be a part of a big crowd, pun intended.

People do not want to hear that the formula for weight loss is as simple as it is: eat less, exercise more. We read about the magic foods than we read about the guy who ate Twinkies and lost a bunch of weight. He ate only 1800 calories of Twinkies a day. Then there is the potato guy who lost weight eating nothing but potatoes. No butter, sour cream and hot oil on these spuds- just spuds. He didn’t eat over 1800 calories either- for men that calorie count is fairly low, women have the magic number at 1200.

I am not saying that I will dive into the cookie or ice cream diet, or the Twinkie or potato diet. Lord knows I will never again cook up the cabbage diet. Gross and double yukko.

One of my other colleagues uses the Lose It app on her phone. She counts calories that way and has lost a lot of weight. I think that is the new fad, and the better way to go. Find an app that helps you count calories! I also like the new applications that comes with the heart monitors, like the body bug. It calculates the amount of calories you are burning. Fun, fun, fun! At THe Biggest Loser Resort at Fitness Ridge, almost everyone had one – I think I was the only one without the device – so when I got home I went straight to Academy and bought a Polar watch. I use it when I work out and periodically I will wear it for a 24 hour period to see how many calories I burn just being me! Last night, from 10 pm to 5:30 am I only burned 526 calories. Low isn’t it? Sure woke me up! I wonder if there is anyway to incorporate some more REM movement or any kind of movement other than the throwing off of covers due to those horrendous night sweats. And, why aren’t I sweating off my dinner? 526 calories…so sad.

So many articles will be written and have been written about how to survive the holiday table…what to eat, what not to eat and how to cook your favorite holiday treats with only half the calories! Whoopee! I will admit this; I never worry about calories on Thanksgiving Day or Christmas Day. Never. Where is the article about that? You know who watches their calories on Thanksgiving and Christmas? Weirdos.

The trick is watching the calories during the season. I love Starbucks Eggnog Lattes. A venti has 610 calories. I know if I drink one of those I cannot have breakfast or lunch. Lose It App says so! If I eat some of that carmel pop corn that was left in the teachers’ lounge I know to curb my intake at lunch and dinner. Party time? Better to eat before the party and have a little there than to not eat and have too much of the dip. Dip costs too much. A small   with spinach dip becomes cellulite in no time at all!

There is no magic pill yet. There is liposuction, but the strange thing is that the remaining fat cells will grow in strange areas to compensate for any weight gain. I knew one lady who had lipo on her back and thighs and buttocks then ended up with a fatty hunch back! Sexy!

The holidays are here. Eat, drink and be merry as long as you keep your calories to a manageable amount. Learn what you burn in a day and get those apps! Eat up on Christmas day and pass out with a full stomach. Just stay away from leftovers. I send mine out, never keeping them in the house. I am so shrewd!

No diet works unless you eat less and move more. Period.